My Girlfriend is a Tankie

[Verse 1] My girlfriend is a Tankie, I’m afraid I am vulnerable, like 1956 Hungary My girlfriend is aggressive she suppresses and possesses me Like Soviet artillery She’s a dominatrix; I’m a people pleaser Our love could be much easier…

[Verse 2] My girlfriend is a Tankie, I’m afraid I want gentle evolution She wants savage revolution She is ready and willing to kill But I am stu-stu-stuttering still Cautious, indecisive, hesitating…

[Chorus] I like horizontalism! But she aways wants to be on top! She says Stalin was an excellent cop! I want the state to slowly wither! She wants a swift & bloody spasm! I want mutual cuddling in the morning! She wants a radical orgasm!

[Verse 3] My girlfriend is a Tankie I’m afraid The very first time we kissed I told her “I’m anarcho-communist” She bit my lip and warned “if I get mad You’ll end up like the sailors at Kronstadt” She wants assassinations, propaganda of the deed She sneers when I say “Gift Economy is all I need”

[Bridge] We argue about Lenin We argue about Mao We argue everything But we're still together - how? I want to gaze into her eyes She wants to vandalize! She quotes Fidel and Che I quote Dorothy Day

[Verse 4] My girlfriend is a Tankie I’m afraid She says my strategy will fail, I’ll never be a winner ‘Cause I only organize community potluck dinners I like my goals soft and easy I don’t like them rough and hard But my girlfriend views herself as the brutal Vanguard When I whine about pacifism and Tolstoy She says I am a feeble soy boy

[Chorus] I like horizontalism But she aways wants to be on top She thinks Stalin was an excellent cop I want the state to slowly wither! She wants a bloody spasm! I want mutual cuddling in the morning! She wants a radical orgasm! When I say, “let’s vacation in sensuous Fiji” She screams, “We need to Free Luigi!”

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